Get Real With Your Why: What Leaders Need to Know About Rethinking Their Relationship With Alcohol

In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I sat down with psychologist, author, and organizational consultant Dr. Abby Medcalf who spent years working with executives in mergers and acquisitions to address substance use at the leadership level. The conversation centers on one of the most common and least-discussed dynamics in high-performance workplaces: leaders who are quietly reconsidering their relationship with alcohol and don't know why their efforts to change keep failing.

Dr. Abby's own story adds weight to the conversation. She came into this work through recovery from heroin addiction in her early years, which led her from a planned legal career into counseling psychology, and ultimately into a PhD in organizational psychology. That combination of lived experience with addiction plus deep expertise in how organizations and leaders function, gives her a uniquely practical and compassionate lens on the culture of high-performance drinking and why it so often goes unaddressed.

The centerpiece of the episode is the Motivational Wheel - a research-backed framework developed by Prochaska and DiClemente that maps how humans actually move through habit change. Dr. Abby walks through each phase (pre-contemplation, contemplation, determination, action, maintenance, and relapse) and identifies the single most common mistake leaders make when they slip back: jumping straight back to the action phase instead of returning to their why. The episode closes with a reframe that is both simple and profound: take action from inspiration, not from negative motivation.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

The High-Performer Blind Spot

In most organizations, high-performing leaders receive a quiet, unspoken pass on their relationship with substances. The logic is straightforward: if they're hitting targets and driving results, nobody wants to disrupt the machine. The quarterback drinking a case every weekend gets overlooked because the focus is entirely on performance output. The result is a system that inadvertently rewards dysfunction, protects it from scrutiny, and leaves the leader without the support they need until a crisis forces the issue.

The Numbers

• Approximately 10% of executives have a substance use disorder which is roughly equivalent to the general population rate, meaning seniority offers no protection

• Alcohol is initially effective at reducing anxiety (which is precisely why high-stress leaders reach for it) but carries a rebound effect that worsens anxiety over time

• Research shows that most people cycle through the Motivational Wheel an average of four times before successfully changing a habit. This means relapse is the norm, not the exception

• Organizational cultures that normalize or actively encourage drinking (kegs in hallways, alcohol-centered client entertainment, post-deal celebrations) structurally increase risk for leaders who may already be vulnerable

• Leaders who rely on alcohol as their only anxiety management tool are operating with a narrowed coping toolkit that will eventually fail them

The Cultural Complicity Problem

Dr. Abby identifies specific workplace cultures - finance, sales, tech - that have historically centered alcohol in their identity and their relationship-building. When drinking is woven into how deals get done and how belonging is signaled, the individual leader's relationship with alcohol becomes a cultural issue, not just a personal one. Any serious approach to substance use at the leadership level must grapple with the environment that shapes and sustains the behavior, not just the individual who is exhibiting it.

Why This Matters Beyond Alcohol

While the episode focuses primarily on alcohol, Dr. Abby is explicit: the Motivational Wheel and the why-before-what principle apply to any habit a leader is trying to change - sugar, smoking, overworking, screens, or any other behavior that is being controlled rather than released. The framework is universal. What makes it relevant to leadership specifically is that leaders are trained to attack problems with strategy and action and that instinct, however effective in business contexts, actively undermines the change process when it's applied to deeply embedded personal habits.

In this episode, we’ll answer:

Why do leaders struggle to change their relationship with alcohol?

What is the Motivational Wheel and how does it relate to habit change?

How does alcohol affect high-performing executives differently?

How can workplaces address substance use among senior leaders?

What resources does Dr. Abby Medcalf offer for executives and leaders?

Two Tactical Takeaways from This Episode

Tactical Takeaway #1: When You Relapse, Go Back to Your Why — Not Your To-Do List

The most common mistake leaders make after a relapse is jumping straight back to the action phase of change: returning to meetings, reinstating rules, rebuilding the structure that worked before. Dr. Abby argues this is the wrong move. The action phase is only effective when the contemplation phase has done its work - when you have genuinely excavated your why and made it concrete, written, and visceral. Without that foundation, all the action in the world is a house built on sand.

The practical instruction is simple: make a list. Write down every negative consequence your drinking (or whatever the habit is) has produced. Every embarrassment. Every missed moment. Every body signal you've minimized or dismissed. That list is your why. And that why is the only reliable fuel for the action that follows. If the list is short, or if you find yourself explaining away each item, you're not ready for action yet — and that is important and honest information.

WHY IT WORKS

Humans are naturally gifted at minimizing, forgetting, and rationalizing especially around behaviors that provide short-term relief from real stress. The written list counteracts the goldfish memory that lets us convince ourselves "it wasn't that bad." It also activates the contemplation phase deliberately rather than waiting for the next crisis to do it. Leaders who do this work before returning to action are building on a foundation of genuine motivation rather than shame or external pressure, which research consistently shows produces more durable change.

Tactical Takeaway #2: Take Action From Inspiration, Not Negative Motivation

Dr. Abby's closing insight reframes the entire architecture of change. Most people try to stop a behavior because they are running away from something - the shame of a comment, the fear of a health result, the pressure of a relationship. That is negative motivation, and while it can produce short bursts of behavior change, it is inherently unstable. The moment the acute pressure eases, the motivation evaporates.

Inspiration-driven change is different. It is powered by a clear, compelling vision of who you want to become and how you want to feel not by what you are trying to escape. In practical terms, this means leaders must spend time not just cataloguing the costs of the current behavior, but also articulating what they are genuinely running toward: the quality of presence they want with their family, the level of performance they want at work, the version of themselves they want to meet on the other side.

WHY IT WORKS

Negative motivation creates urgency without direction. Inspiration creates direction without urgency which is far more sustainable. When a leader can articulate, specifically and emotionally, what they are building toward, they have something to return to every time the old pull resurfaces. I reinforce this with the simple reframe: running toward something is fundamentally different from running away from something - in energy, in sustainability, and in outcome.

ABOUT ABBY MEDCALF

Abby Medcalf is a straight-talking psychologist, best-selling author, speaker and podcast host who helps people become confident, direct communicators in every relationship, whether it’s with a partner, coworker, or their own inner critic.

With over 35 years of experience, a masters in counseling psychology and a PhD in organizational psychology, Abby blends science-backed strategies with humor, candor, and just the right amount of bossy. She’s helped thousands of people stop people-pleasing, set boundaries that stick, and finally feel calm and connected, especially to themselves. Her unique background in both mental health and business gives her a rare ability to bridge the personal and professional without the fluff or jargon.

Whether she’s handing out scripts to say “no” without guilt or debunking myths about emotional regulation, Abby delivers love-drenched truth you can actually use (and probably laugh at). She’s been a featured expert on CBS and ABC, and her advice has appeared in the New York Times, Women’s Health, Fast Company, Success Magazine, Psychology Today, and the Wall Street Journal.

She’s the author of the #1 Amazon best-seller Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing, along with Boundaries Made Easy and The Boundaries Made Easier Workbook. Her top-rated podcasts, Relationships Made Easy and Workplace Therapy with Dr. Abby Medcalf and are heard in over 190 countries and brings practical wisdom to thousands of listeners every week.

SHOW NOTES

abbymedcalf.com

https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Tagged: alcoholism and leadership, motivational wheel, Prochaska DiClemente, Abby Medcalf, Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, burnout prevention

While There's No Panacea for Human Suffering, the Power of Human Connection Comes Pretty Close with Nick Freud

In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I sit down with Nick Freud, founder of Fellow Humans - a platform built on a simple but radical idea: the most powerful support a person can receive during a difficult transition isn't clinical expertise. It's lived experience wisdom from someone who has already walked the same path.

Nick's journey into this work began when he hit clinical depression while running a successful education business and discovered firsthand how hard it is to reach out for help, even for someone who considers themselves open and authentic. What emerged from that experience was a recognition that most of us are navigating our hardest moments in unnecessary isolation, surrounded by colleagues and communities full of people who have already been through exactly what we're facing and are waiting to be asked.

The conversation moves between the personal and the practical: why corporate culture systematically mutes the humanity in our working relationships, what it actually means to make someone feel seen (and why it's different from sympathy), and how leaders who model vulnerability create permission structures that ripple through entire organizations. Dr. Sally and Nick address the three objections leaders most commonly raise - "this isn't a therapy setting," "we'll be held liable," and "people will use it against me" - and offer concrete, low-barrier ways to introduce more human connection into even the most performance-driven workplace cultures.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

The Gap Between Crisis and Connection

Most workplaces have support systems for people in crisis such as EAPs, benefits, mental health days. But there is a vast, largely unaddressed space between "doing fine" and "falling apart" where people are quietly struggling through breakups, demotions, identity shifts, grief, burnout, and transitions of every kind. In that in-between space, most organizations offer nothing. Nick Freud's core argument is that this is where the most impactful, most accessible, and least costly support can be delivered — through human connection and lived experience, not clinical intervention.

The Numbers Make the Case

•       An estimated $1 trillion in lost productivity was attributed to mental health issues globally in 2024–2025

•       90–100% of workers in Dr. Sally's anonymous polling report having a significant personal experience with mental health, suicide, overdose, or addiction, yet most don't know this about their colleagues

•       Research shows that when your feet are in ice water, you will tolerate the pain twice as long if even one other person is in the room with you. Pain shared is pain made more bearable

•       Workers who feel seen and supported through difficult transitions are more engaged, more productive, and more likely to stay

•       Mental health stigma at work is driven primarily by fear of judgment, not by the absence of need or willingness to connect

The Three Objections — and Why They Don't Hold

Dr. Sally names the three pushbacks leaders most commonly raise, and Nick addresses each directly:

 "This isn't a therapy setting."

Even if your only goal is operational efficiency, supporting people through transitions is the most economically prudent choice. $1 trillion in lost productivity says the "leave it at the door" approach is already failing.

 "We'll be held liable."

The vast majority of transitions people want to share at work are not clinical or legally charged - they are human. Creating space for connection around life's ordinary hard moments reduces the risk of escalation to clinical crisis, not the other way around.

 "People will use it against me."

In the short term, vulnerability feels like risk. In the long term, inauthenticity erodes trust, and playing an avatar eventually leads to combustion. The leaders who are afraid to show any cracks, particularly those who have had to work twice as hard to earn their seat, will ultimately be respected more, not less, for their humanity.

In this episode, we’ll answer:

How do you support employees going through personal transitions at work?

What is lived experience wisdom and why does it matter at work?

How do leaders create psychological safety at work without making it feel like therapy?

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy in the workplace?

How much does mental health cost employers in lost productivity?

Two Tactical Takeaways from This Episode

Tactical Takeaway #1: Never Navigate a Transition Alone — Leverage Lived Experience Wisdom

Nick's first takeaway is both a personal invitation and an organizational imperative: whatever transition you or your people are going through, someone in your circle has already been through it. The only thing standing between you and their wisdom is the ask. Vulnerability is the nudge that unlocks connection, and once one person opens up, others follow.

WHY IT WORKS

The power of lived experience wisdom isn't just informational - it's relational. When someone who has walked the same path sits with you, the fear of judgment evaporates. You don't feel broken; you feel understood. Nick describes this as the difference between sympathy ("I'm sorry, you seem a little broken") and empathy ("I know it sucks and you're going to get through it"). The catharsis comes from the absence of judgment, and that is something no clinical credential can fully replicate. Dr. Sally reinforces this with her own research: 90–100% of audiences she works with have a significant mental health story, and they don't know this about each other. The connection is already there, it just needs a door.

Tactical Takeaway #2: Make Someone Feel Seen — It's the Greatest Gift You Can Give

Nick's second takeaway is deceptively simple and profound in its implications: the greatest thing you can do for another person, at work or anywhere, is make them feel seen in their experience. Not fixed. Not advised. Seen. And the leader's role is to create the permission structure and context that makes that possible.

WHY IT WORKS

Permission doesn't come from a policy, a memo, or a mandatory wellbeing program. It comes from the top - from leaders who model openness themselves. When a leader humanizes themselves, it creates downstream permission for everyone else to do the same. Nick's practical guidance: don't leave five minutes at the end of your all-hands meeting for people to "air grievances." Create a real structure - a prioritized, intentional space for people to come together as humans, not just as role-players. Dr. Sally's own practice: joys and sorrows, kudos and sorries - a brief, structured ritual at the start of team meetings that acknowledges the whole person and sets a tone of psychological safety for everything that follows.

about nick freud

Nick Freud is the Co-Founder and COO of Fellow Humans, a category-defining Co-Learning platform designed to help people navigating a life transition - breakup, job loss, new diagnosis, first time parent - to learn from and connect with real humans who have already been there.  Prior to founding Fellow Humans, Nick spent 8 years as the Co-founder of CampusReel, an Education Technology company focused on creating student-first Virtual Campus Tours for high schools, colleges and grad schools throughout the world.  For his work with CampusReel, Nick was named for the Forbes 30 Under 30 List in Education, and has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, TechCrunch, and on Good Morning America.  After experiencing a clinical depression at the end of 2024, Nick made the decision to step away from education and dedicate himself to enabling real human connection globally through Fellow Humans.

SHOW NOTES

https://fellowhumans.live/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nick-freud-1998b379/.

Tagged: human connection at work, lived experience wisdom, Nick Freud, Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, Peer Support, psychological safety, employee mental health

SPECIAL EPISODE: Work-Related Suicide - How Do We Define and Measure Work-Related Suicide?

This special episode of Headspace for the Workplace is produced in partnership with the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) Workplace Special Interest Group, co-chaired by Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas and Jørgen Gullestrup. It is part of an ongoing series examining work-related suicide - cases where workplace factors contribute, in whole or in part, to a suicide death - a topic that remains critically underdiscussed in most of the world.

In this episode, Dr. Sally and Jørgen are joined by Liam O'Brien, Assistant Secretary of the Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU), one of the most advanced voices in the world on psychosocial workplace regulation. Australia has recently implemented groundbreaking legal reforms that require employers to identify and control psychosocial hazards and critically, to notify regulators when a suicide or suicide attempt may have been contributed to by workplace factors. These are not wellness programs. They are legally binding safety standards.

The conversation covers the architecture of Australia's regulatory framework, the ACTU's Mind Your Head campaign, the hierarchy of controls applied to mental health hazards, the employer education gap, and how the global suicide prevention and occupational health communities can partner to move this agenda forward. It is a fundamental challenge to the dominant narrative in most Western countries. Mental health at work is a personal responsibility and a compelling argument for treating psychological harm as a shared, collective, and legally enforceable workplace duty.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

The Framing Shift That Changes Everything

The dominant narrative in most countries, including the United States, frames workplace mental health as an individual issue. Someone is struggling; they need support; the employer is being generous by offering it. Australia has legally rejected that framing. Under their framework, psychological health is a safety obligation, not a benefit. Employers have a duty to identify and control psychosocial hazards the same way they manage fall risks and chemical exposures. The question is no longer "Are we being supportive?" It is "Are we compliant?"

The Numbers

•       An estimated 10–15% of suicides in Australia are attributable to workplace factors

•       Construction workers are approximately twice as likely to die by suicide as workers in other industries

•       1 in 5 workers in Australia report sustaining a mental health-related injury at work that could have been prevented

•       Mental health compensation claims have risen 10–15% over the last decade — even as physical injury rates declined

•       Australia now legally requires employers to notify regulators when a suicide or suicide attempt may have involved a work-related factor

•       Workers in unionized environments with active psychosocial hazard campaigns are measurably more protected from mental ill health

What's At Stake Globally

Most countries, including the United States, have no binding standards for psychosocial hazards in the workplace. Mental health obligations exist in theory ("employers must protect health") but carry no minimum standards, no control requirements, and no enforcement architecture. Australia's framework represents what is possible when the occupational health and safety system is applied to psychological harm. The France Telecom case — where executives were criminally convicted for workplace conditions that contributed to a wave of employee suicides — demonstrates that accountability is achievable. The question is whether the rest of the world will wait another 70 years, as it did with asbestos, before acting.

Why Mental Health Professionals and Suicidologists Need to Engage

The suicide prevention sector has traditionally approached workplace mental health from an individual clinical lens: assessment, treatment, crisis intervention. This episode argues that suicidologists and mental health professionals must also engage the occupational health and safety system — because that is where the structural levers for prevention exist. Liam O'Brien's direct call to the global mental health community: reframe workplace mental health as a rights-based issue, build alliances with labor movements, and recognize that collective action is the most powerful prevention tool available.

In this episode, we’ll answer:

What is work-related suicide and how is it defined?

What are psychosocial hazards in the workplace?

What is the hierarchy of controls for psychosocial hazards?

What can mental health professionals do to address work-related suicide?

Why are construction workers at higher risk for work-related suicide?

Two Tactical Takeaways from the Episode

Tactical Takeaway #1: Apply the Hierarchy of Controls to Psychological Hazards

The single most powerful concept in this episode is the hierarchy of controls — the principle that the preferred approach to any hazard is elimination at the source, not personal protective equipment at the end. Liam O'Brien's core argument is that this principle, which transformed physical safety in workplaces globally, must be applied to psychosocial hazards.

 In practice, this means: instead of asking workers to cope with excessive workloads, eliminate the excessive workload through job design. Instead of offering an EAP to workers dealing with occupational violence, increase staffing so violence is less likely to emerge. Instead of training workers to manage burnout, redesign rosters so burnout is structurally prevented. The solution is upstream — not downstream.

 WHY IT WORKS

The hierarchy of controls approach is legally enforceable, scalable, and does not rely on individual worker disclosure or help-seeking — two of the biggest barriers to mental health support in high-stigma industries. It shifts the burden from the worker to the system, which is where the lever actually is. Organizations that design psychosocial safety in from the start see measurable reductions in mental health injuries and workers' compensation claims.

Tactical Takeaway #2: Educate Employers — Not Just Workers — About Their Obligations

Liam O'Brien's most counterintuitive insight — described as something he said over coffee with Jørgen that initially seemed strange but quickly made sense — is this: the biggest gap in the psychosocial safety system is not worker knowledge. It is employer knowledge. Workers and health and safety representatives often understand their rights better than the managers responsible for upholding them.

 In Australia, health and safety representatives are legally required to complete five days of training annually — paid for by the employer — and a one-day annual refresher. There is no equivalent training requirement for employers. The result: workers show up knowing their rights, managers have no idea what their obligations are, and the system breaks down at the point of implementation. In countries like Australia, where industrial manslaughter legislation means managers can face criminal liability for failing to meet health and safety obligations, this gap is not just operationally problematic — it is legally dangerous.

WHY IT WORKS

Closing the employer knowledge gap is not a radical ask — it is a baseline requirement for any system of rights to function. Organizations that invest in training managers on their psychosocial safety obligations — not just their HR teams, but their frontline supervisors and senior leaders — create environments where workers can actually exercise the rights that exist on paper. The practical application: add psychosocial hazard obligations to manager onboarding, supervisory training, and leadership development curricula. Make it as standard as manual handling or fire safety.

About Jorgen Gullestrup

Jørgen Gullestrup is the founding CEO of MATES in Construction Australia, returning to the organization he founded in 2008 as of May 2025. A licensed plumber by trade, he began working in construction at age 15 and later served as a union delegate, official, and Secretary of the Plumbers Union for nearly seven years. Jørgen identifies as having lived experience of suicide, which continues to shape his authentic and compassionate leadership in this space. He holds a Master's degree in Suicidology and is currently a PhD candidate exploring help-offering among men in suicide prevention — seeking to uncover the "magic sauce" behind the MATES program. He also serves on the Queensland Mental Health and Drugs Council and co-chairs the International Association for Suicide Prevention's Workplace Special Interest Group. He is a LivingWorks ASIST and safeTALK trainer. Within the first five years of MATES' operation, an 8% reduction in Queensland construction industry suicide rates was achieved.

About Liam O’Brien

Liam was re-elected as Assistant Secretary at the ACTU Congress in June 2024. Before joining the ACTU, he was the Victorian Assistant Secretary and National Vice-President of the Australian Workers' Union (AWU), where he fought for workers across aluminum, aviation, glass, and construction sectors.

As ACTU Assistant Secretary, Liam leads the movement's policy, industrial, and campaigning work on work health and safety and workers' compensation matters. He is passionate about the rights of all workers to have safe, healthy, and decent work, and is a member of Safe Work Australia (SWA) and the Asbestos and Silica Safety and Eradication Council (ASSEC). He is also responsible for the skills and VET portfolio at the ACTU, and is the Deputy Chair of the Jobs and Skills Australia Ministerial Advisory Board. He holds a Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Politics, Philosophy and Economics.

Show Notes

International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP): https://www.iasp.info

https://www.actu.org.au/officer/liam-obrien/

https://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/

Tagged: work-related suicide, Liam O'Brien, Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, Jorgen Gullestrup, workplace suicide prevention, psychosocial hazards, International Association for Suicide Prevention, mental health at work

The Cost of the Chase: Can You Build Profit and Protect People?

In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I sit down with Aaron Witt, founder of BuildWitt, a people-first training and development company on a mission to build the construction industry's next generation of leaders. The conversation centers on one of the most persistent tensions in business, especially in high-pressure industries like construction: how do you drive growth, performance, and profit without burning out the very people who make it possible?

 Aaron brings a grounded, practical perspective shaped by years of working alongside hundreds of world-class leaders across the United States and around the world. His observation is consistent - leaders who take care of themselves first are consistently better equipped to take care of those around them. And teams that build genuine relationships before the chaos hits are far better positioned to weather it together.

The episode also digs into the construction industry's complex relationship with grit, a cultural value that fuels extraordinary work but can quietly become self-destructive when it's the only tool in the toolbox. Aaron and I challenge listeners to expand their definition of what it means to be a strong leader, arguing that sustainable performance requires identity, connection, and intentional investment in people, not just grinding through.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

The Cost of the Chase

Many industries, especially construction, are built on a culture of urgency, performance, and growth. That drive produces results. But it also creates a predictable pattern. Leaders and teams squeeze harder, do more with less, and defer personal wellbeing and relationship-building until things slow down. Things rarely slow down. The result is leaders running on empty, teams that feel like strangers in a foxhole, and organizations that are one bad quarter, or one bad storm, away from a crisis they're not equipped to handle.

 The Research Backs It Up

•       Leaders who neglect their own wellbeing have a fraction of the capacity to support others and it shows up first in how they handle unexpected disruption

•       Identity over-investment in work ("if work goes away, who am I?") is a significant driver of mental health deterioration, especially in high-identity industries like construction

•       Teams that lack genuine relationships before a crisis face compounded problems during it. Distrust, misaligned priorities, and fragmented communication pile on top of the original problem

•       Grit is a protective factor - until it isn't. When leaders apply a sledgehammer to every problem, they exhaust themselves and miss solutions that require a different approach entirely

•       Relationship investment doesn't require hours. Even five minutes of genuine human connection at the start of a meeting changes the team dynamic, builds trust, and improves performance over time

In this episode, we’ll answer:

How do leaders balance profit and people without burning out their teams?

Why is self-care a leadership strategy, not just a wellness trend?

How do you build team relationships in a fast-paced work environment?

What happens to leaders who wrap their identity entirely in their work?

Why don't construction companies invest in mental health and relationships at work?

Two Tactical Takeaways from the Episode

Tactical Takeaway #1: Care for Yourself First. It's a Leadership Strategy, Not Selfishness

Aaron's first takeaway is direct: by caring for yourself first, you are better able to handle the chaos around you. This isn't soft advice, it's operational. Leaders who are physically and mentally regulated make better decisions, react less, and create more stability for their teams. Aaron describes his daily morning workout as "wringing out the rag" and releasing whatever internal tension exists so it doesn't leak into his leadership throughout the day.

WHY IT WORKS

Doing hard things intentionally, whether it's exercise, cold weather walks, or early morning discipline, builds what Aaron calls "capacity." When unplanned hard things arrive (a missed deadline, a weather delay, a team conflict), leaders with that capacity can step back, detach, and respond rather than react. Without it, the situation dictates to you instead of the other way around. Dr. Sally reinforces this with her own practice: workout, walk the dog, lift weights, meditate, journal - all before the workday begins - because front-loading wellbeing anchors everything else.

Tactical Takeaway #2: Build Relationships Before the Chaos, Not During It

Aaron's second takeaway is about timing. Relationship-building is not something you can fast-track during a crisis. Trust is a slow drip. It accumulates over time through small, consistent, genuine acts of curiosity and care — asking about someone's weekend, remembering they went to New Jersey, following up after the vacation. By the time the storm hits, those relationships either exist or they don't.

 WHY IT WORKS

When teams have genuine relationships, they navigate chaos as a unit rather than as a collection of individuals under pressure. There's less internal friction, less misaligned effort, and more willingness to be vulnerable about what's actually wrong. Aaron's practical application: start every meeting, even a quick one-on-one, with one personal question. Not a checklist item. One real question about their life outside of work. A five-minute ritual that clears the air, acknowledges the human, and sets the stage for everything that follows.

about aaron witt

Growing up in Scottsdale, the Dirt World (critical infrastructure and natural resources) was NOT on Aaron Witt’s career radar... That is, until a construction project appeared in his neighborhood. He asked for a job and was off to the races.

After graduating from engineering school, he planned to become a contractor. But everything changed when he began sharing his brief industry experience on social media under the “BuildWitt” name.

Today, BuildWitt is a software company helping hundreds of Dirt World companies grow their workforce daily via nearly 2,000 micro-learning videos. BuildWitt also holds the annual Ariat Dirt World Summit to build the next generation of leadership, with over one thousand industry executives learning from former Navy SEALs, fighter pilots, billionaires, and the best in the Dirt World.

Beyond the business, Aaron has a unique perspective from traveling across America and worldwide to visit top operations and share what it takes to keep the world moving, generating one billion views annually.

Tagged: workplace wellbeing, Aaron Witt, Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, occupational health, burnout prevention, construction mental health

The Hidden Safety Crisis: Sleep, Mental Health, and Workplace Fatigue

In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I tackle one of the most underestimated safety risks in high-risk industries: sleep deprivation driven by mental health. Drawing on my own experience with sleep disruption and the latest research, I explore how depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, and substance use disorders all compromise sleep quality and how that degraded sleep shows up on the job site as impaired judgment, slowed reaction time, emotional dysregulation, and microsleep incidents.

Reframing fatigue, not as a personal failing or simply a function of hours worked but as a compounding symptom of unaddressed mental health strain, makes sleep disruption the “canary in the coal mine” for emerging mental health crises. I close with five actionable organizational strategies that move beyond individual sleep tips to address the systemic, design-level changes that actually reduce risk.

why this matters in the workplace

The Numbers Are Stark

•       Workers with sleep problems face approximately a 60% higher risk of on-the-job injury

•       1 in 8 workplace injuries is directly linked to sleep-related issues

•       After 17 hours awake, impairment equals a BAC of .05; after 24 hours, it reaches .10—the legal drunk limit

•       Sleeping less than 5 hours more than doubles injury risk; 6 hours still carries elevated risk

•       High-stress workers average just 5.4 hours of sleep per night

•       High job stress doubles the likelihood of poor sleep

•       Chronic insomnia makes someone 2–3 times more likely to develop depression or anxiety

 The Hidden Cycle

Most organizations address fatigue by managing hours worked. But Dr. Sally identifies a far more complex cycle:

Mental Health Challenges → Poor Sleep → Fatigue → Impaired Thinking → More Mental Health Challenges → Repeat

This loop is invisible to most safety systems, which is why addressing sleep at the organizational level (not just through individual wellness tips) is essential to breaking it.

 What’s at Stake for Leaders

•       Fatigued workers have impaired judgment, slower reaction times, and reduced emotional control—exactly the capacities needed for high-risk work

•       Microsleeps (brief unconscious shutdowns, sometimes with eyes open) can occur without warning and cause catastrophic incidents

•       Sleep disruption is often the first visible sign of an emerging mental health problem and the least stigmatized entry point for intervention

•       Fatigue doesn’t start at work. It accumulates over days, meaning yesterday’s bad night is today’s safety risk

In this episode, we’ll answer:

How does sleep deprivation affect workplace safety?

What is the connection between mental health and sleep at work?

How can employers reduce fatigue and improve employee sleep?

Is sleep deprivation a workplace safety issue or a personal wellness issue?

How does anxiety affect sleep quality for workers in high-stress jobs?

Two Tactical Takeaways from This Episode

Tactical Takeaway #1: Treat Sleep Like a Safety Metric

My first actionable recommendation is for organizations to start measuring and monitoring sleep the same way they track safety incidents or near-misses. This doesn’t require expensive technology. Even simple, regular check-ins during leadership walkabouts (“How’s everyone’s sleep going this week?”) can surface early risk signals before they escalate into injuries or mental health crises.

WHY IT WORKS

Sleep disruption carries less stigma than mental health topics, making it an easier, more accessible entry point for conversations about overall wellbeing. Wearable data and EAP screening tools can provide deeper, evidence-based insights for organizations that want to go further. The key insight: you cannot manage what you don’t measure, and sleep is a leading indicator, not a lagging one.

Tactical Takeaway #2: Make Fatigue Safe to Report

I identify “stop work authority”—the organizational norm that empowers workers to halt work when they are too fatigued to work safely—as a critical and underutilized safety lever. If workers fear repercussions for disclosing fatigue, the system is already broken before the incident occurs.

 WHY IT WORKS

Fatigue must be treated like any other safety risk: visible, supported, and acted on early. This requires a cultural shift, not just a policy update. Leaders who model this behavior by admitting their own fatigue, honoring reports without judgment, and designing recovery time into schedules creates the psychological safety that allows the system to work.

Tagged: workplace safety, sleep deprivation, workplace fatigue, Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, stop work authority, burnout prevention, anxiety and workplace performance

Soul Exhaustion at Work: How to Protect Your Time, Set Boundaries, and Reclaim Your Well-Being

In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I am joined by my longtime colleague and friend Sarah Gaer to explore a concept that goes deeper than burnout: soul exhaustion. Sarah, co-author of the newly released Soul Exhaustion and Soul Care Workbook (with Cassie Kelly), brings both lived experience and decades of professional expertise to a conversation that is equal parts personal and practical.

The episode examines how modern work culture quietly depletes the deepest part of who we are - what Sarah describes as the essence, the spark, the fire within. When that inner flame dims, it doesn't just affect productivity. It affects identity, connection, meaning, and ultimately mental health. 

Drawing on research interviews conducted in Copenhagen with suicidologists from around the world, Sarah reveals that soul exhaustion (when severe) closely mirrors the language used to describe suicidal despair. This episode moves the mental health conversation at work beyond surface-level wellness programs and into the territory of genuine, sustainable soul care.

Why This Matters in the Workplace

Organizations are facing an invisible crisis. On the surface, many employees look fine. They're showing up, meeting deadlines, attending meetings. But underneath, something deeper is eroding: the essence of who they are as people.

 Soul Exhaustion ≠ Burnout

Burnout is about work demands exceeding capacity. Soul exhaustion is about losing connection to who you fundamentally are. Both can coexist, but soul exhaustion runs deeper and cannot be fixed by standard wellness programs, PTO, or productivity hacks.

 The Mental Health Connection

Research gathered from suicidologists across cultures found that soul exhaustion — at its most severe — maps directly onto the language of suicidal despair. That means workplace practices that deplete the soul are not just HR problems; they are public health issues. 

The Talent Retention Angle

Gen Z workers who entered the workforce during or after COVID, are far less willing to sacrifice their identity and well-being for their employer. Organizations that don't address soul-level depletion will struggle to attract and keep emerging talent. 

The Productivity Argument

Boundaries and soul care are not productivity killers. They are productivity protectors. As Sarah notes in the episode: when you're exhausted and forcing yourself to keep going beyond your bandwidth, quality suffers. Protecting your soul is an investment in your output.

In this episode, we’ll answer:

What is soul exhaustion and how is it different from burnout?

How do you know if you have soul exhaustion?

Can workplace stress cause soul exhaustion?

Why is time your most valuable currency at work?

How to say no at work to protect your mental health

Two Tactical Takeaways from This Episode

Takeaway #1: Time Is Your Most Valuable Currency

Sarah invites listeners to do a simple but powerful exercise: list the top five things that matter most to you in life, then list the top five ways you actually spend your time, including doom scrolling and Netflix. The gap between those two lists is often striking, and it reveals how unconsciously we 'spend' the one resource we can never get back. 

Key insights from this takeaway:

•       Time is not infinite. Every hour spent without intention is a withdrawal from your soul.

•       You don't have to achieve a perfect balance, but you do need to budget your time the way you budget your money.

•       Technology has blurred the boundary between work time and personal time, creating an 'always on' expectation that silently depletes us.

•       A free downloadable worksheet is available for listeners to complete this exercise (soulexhaustion.care).

•       For workplaces seeking to attract and retain Gen Z talent: this generation came of age during COVID and is explicitly rejecting the 'work yourself to death' model. Time-as-currency framing resonates deeply with them.

 Takeaway #2: Every Boundary You Set Is a Piece of Yourself You Take Back

Boundaries aren't just a self-care buzzword. They are the mechanism by which we reclaim our soul. Sarah shares her own personal practice of closing her home office door as a physical signal that she was off-duty, and how that small act protected her quality of work and her well-being simultaneously.

 Key insights from this takeaway:

•       The two takeaways are linked: once you recognize that time is your most valuable currency, setting boundaries becomes non-negotiable.

•       Boundaries benefit not just the individual - they improve work quality. An exhausted person working past their bandwidth makes more mistakes and does lower-quality work.

•       Common boundary breaches at work: answering emails at 6am and 10pm, responding to non-urgent messages during personal events, and returning early from parental leave.

•       Setting boundaries is not selfish; it is sustainable. If your work is costing you your soul, it is not sustainable.

ABOUT SARAH GAER

Sarah Gaer is a seasoned mental health professional, author, and advocate with deep roots in lived experience and clinical practice. Motivated by the loss of close friends to suicide, she has dedicated her career to moving beyond pathology-focused approaches and toward a soul-centered model of well-being. Her groundbreaking research, including interviews with suicidologists from around the world conducted in Copenhagen, forms the basis of the Soul Exhaustion and Soul Care Workbook, co-authored with Cassie Kelly. Sarah is a longtime collaborator with Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas and a founding contributor to United Suicide Survivors International's community work. 

Learn more: sarahgaer.com | soulexhaustion.care

Tagged: SOUL EXHAUSTION, workplace well-being, burnout prevention, WORK-LIFE BALANCE, TIME MANAGEMENT, work-life boundaries, SARAH GAER, Soul care